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“Forgotten Victims of Mental Illness”

crop friends stacking hands together

Today’s guest is Dale Walsh, a coach for families of those who have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Dale is the creator of the Live Love Method to help his clients. He is guided by the mantra, recovery is always an option.

Here are the steps you need to follow:
1. Listen
2. Integrate
3. Validate


1. Listen
In order to effectively listen to someone, it is important to be present and engaged. This means making eye contact, nodding, and providing verbal encouragement. It is also important to be respectful and non-judgmental. One way to ensure that you are doing these things is to practice active listening. This means that you are not only listening to the words that the other person is saying, but also trying to understand the meaning behind them. This may involve paraphrasing or asking clarifying questions. Active listening can be a helpful tool in any relationship, but it is especially important when dealing with someone who has a mental illness. By taking the time to really listen to what they are saying, you can gain a better understanding of their experience and how best to support them.

2. Integrate
The second step in the process is to integrate what you have learned. This means taking the information you have learned and applying it to your own life. For example, if you have learned that routines are important for recovery, you should try to incorporate some routines into your own life. This may mean setting aside time each day for meditation or having a regular dinner time with your family. By taking what you have learned and applying it to your own life, you will be better able to help your loved one in their recovery.

3. Validate
The third step in the process is to validate what works and what doesn’t work. This is important because it helps to identify what is effective and what is not effective in terms of dealing with the mental illness. It also helps to identify any potential areas of codependency that may need to be addressed. This step also helps to establish a clear communication

Connect with Dale on his website: https://DaleWalsh.com/

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Debra Woog-Crisis Navigation Partner; Difficult Conversations Expert

Debra Woog

Transcript

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Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:00:02] Hello Everybody. This is Nicky Asher-Bowling. From motherhood unfiltered is going to be okay. And today’s guest is Debra Woog. So, whether you’re experiencing your own crises or managing others throughout, there’s she is a crisis navigation partner and can help you determine your goals. Express. Hold on here. Express, you know, complicated situations. So, and before I bring her on, I just want to remind everybody that if you’re watching this on YouTube to like comment and subscribe if you haven’t already. And that will help with the algorithm getting more people to see it. And if you listen on any podcast platform, then please go to Apple at. Apple and then you can write a review there. I don’t know of any other podcast platform that where you can rate your podcast. So, now let me bring Debra on So, we can get to know her. Hi, Debra.

Debra Woog [00:01:34] Good morning. Good afternoon. Yeah.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:01:40] So, Debra, just tell us a little bit about being a crisis navigation partner and how you got started being a crisis navigation partner.

Debra Woog [00:01:55] Okay. So, I have a crisis navigation partner, which is a profession that I basically made up. So, if you haven’t heard of this before, you’re in great company with most of the 7 billion plus people in the world. So, I created the concept of a crisis navigation partner because I have been both a leader and a leadership consultant and coach in situations where I’ve been in crisis or when I was the consultant or coach, where my clients have been in crisis, where they’ve been. And I’ve been a woman who’s a leader and feeling on my own for Some reason, and my clients have been to either because they’re single or they’re only children of the only adult child of parents that they need to take care of, or they are at the top of an organization. It can be lonely at the time; I know for sure. My role is to be that person that I wish that I had and Some of the difficult things that I went through, especially my child’s mental health crisis. Mm hmm. My role is to be that person for my clients where I can provide emotional support combined with practical support. So, I do research on behalf of my clients. I help them strategize for difficult conversations and a lot of listening and teasing out what are the pain points that are personal and what are the pain points that are situational, and how can we guide your way through to the best possible outcome of the situation?

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:03:35] Wow. That’s interesting. I, I love that you. Well, first of all, I didn’t realize that you created this role. And, I mean, how smart is that? I don’t nobody else has done that. So, but I mean, they have Someone that you can reach out to when you’re, you know, in the middle of a crisis. Like, I know when I went through my divorce, I would have loved to have Somebody there to help me with that, you know, because I yeah, I was a stay-at-home mom, you know, and I ended up with having three little boys and. I don’t. The first thing I could think of was, well, I need to get a job. But if I’d had Someone help me, then I could have helped. You know, not only find a job, but also, help the boys transition from being a two-parent home to a one parent home and all of that. It just seems like we. Are always like putting out fires, you know, and stuff like that happens. And then our loved ones are being put to the backburner because we’re just trying to take care of their basic, basic, you know, their basic needs. So, and So, I really love that. So, how So, kind of explain the steps, you know, like more interest if Someone is lost a loved one and they reach out to you. So, what would be the first thing that you would want to look at?

Debra Woog [00:05:15] Well, initially, I always have a no cost conversation to understand what’s going on for the person and to see how I think I might be able to help these be what they’re looking for. Sometimes it seems like I can’t help, and sometimes it seems like I’m not the right person in those cases. I’m always happy to refer them to Someone else. I have a big connector. I have a network of brilliant women who can provide a lot of different services. So, it starts with kind of the assessment piece. What’s your current situation and what is your ideal best possible outcome given this difficult situation that you’re in?

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:06:03] Oh, okay. I really like that doing an assessment and. I. And Sometimes if Someone’s like me, they’re probably go, I don’t know what the best possible outcome is. You know, because how do you think of that when you’ve lost Somebody, you know?

Debra Woog [00:06:21] Yeah. So, taking that right, I mean, the best possible outcome would be brought them back to life. Okay. I don’t have that power that is not in the job description I made up for myself, although if I had the power, I’d put it right. Other people would like it. I would like it. So, yeah.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:06:38] She’s doing God’s work now.

Debra Woog [00:06:39] So, you. No, I would. I what I do is work with people to define success at this phase of their life. Yeah. And how can they leverage their unique brilliance So, their best skills and interests and qualities, their top needs, their top values, their priorities, how do they leverage all that to create the next phase of life without this person? What kind of support do they need? Right. Kind of. Access. What are the toughest things going on right now? What wouldn’t like that load? What are the big decisions that you’re facing? So, I can’t do that magical thing, right? To help ease Someone into the next phase. And I can help them understand grief better, although I’m not a grief counselor. Go through that before. Right. It’s not linear and it takes So, many different phases and they don’t necessarily go in order. And though Elizabeth Kubler-Ross had all the right ideas and there even she said they didn’t always go from there. Yeah.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:07:53] That’s right.

Debra Woog [00:07:55] So, I see myself as a thought partner as well as an extra pair of hands. I studied psychology in college and then I went to business school. I was an organizational change consultant and a leadership and career consultant for. It’s been 25 years now since I graduated from business school.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:08:14] Right. Right.

Debra Woog [00:08:15] Bringing my own skills and expertise to bear is having gone through all my own difficult situations. I just know how painful it is to be on your own. And Some people have family and friends who can help them through these kinds of things, and that’s great. And people don’t for whatever reason then.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:08:35] Yeah, I do agree with that. I find it more and more that there are people that just don’t have Someone they can turn to. I don’t know if it’s just because they’re not close to people, you know, to their family or whatever. But like for me, I would I know how busy my family is. I would not want to burden them with Something. So, I would probably. Want to reach out and ask for help.  So, what kind of crises have you faced in your life or in your work? I mean, obviously, this is a personal thing for you because you decided to change your whole career to help other people.

Debra Woog [00:09:28] Yeah. I mean, I was I like to think I was helping other people in that, you know, in the earlier parts of my career, too. But I must hone-in one more specifically. That was a switch. It was a clarification for me. But to answer your question, starting with as a kid, my family moved around because of my dad’s job nine times by the time, got more.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:09:53] Of.

Debra Woog [00:09:54] A lot of the United States, and we were constantly having to start over. And, you know, when you’re a kid and you get taken away from your friends, that’s a kind of crisis on its own. Yeah. So, you know, it’s not a tragedy, but it’s hard. Yeah. I have the experience of starting over and building a new community. I mean, I’ve experience of starting over a lot.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:10:19] Yeah. Yeah.

Debra Woog [00:10:21] As I went into my twenties, I lost my best friend from business school to now. I lost my best friend from high school right after I was in business school to AIDS. And before that he had become very suddenly ill, and I helped him, and his partner identify potential treatment options for the diagnosis. Yeah, well, yeah, within that because AIDS is a collection of things, right? I went through that. I got married. I had kids. Those were great things. I got divorced. I became a single mom. My child of two just turned 18 yesterday and in November it’ll be 14 years. Yeah. So, I’ve been a single mom on my own during that time. My Son was diagnosed with type one diabetes, and then my daughter, a few years later, started having severe generalized anxiety disorder now. So, those are Some examples of the crises I’ve personally had. I’ve been very fortunate in a lot of ways in life that I haven’t had a lot more loss people in my life who were younger.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:11:40] Right. I find it interesting that sometimes we go through things, you know, as a child or as a young adult that helps us, like you said, like hone in our redefine our purpose. And those things have helped you with your own personal journey and you and your children, you know, So, and they are better off for it, you know, because you already practiced this in your life. It just makes it easier to help Someone else who’s in the middle of a crisis. And I just really love that concept. I know, like I’ve said before, there’s lots of people that don’t, you know, have Somebody. And I feel like we just need to get this message out there that, hey, you’re not alone. You know, we’ve got Someone here that can help you in this moment of your crisis.  So, what was the defining moment that you were like, this is what I got to be doing. I got to help people when they’re in the middle of a crisis. Was that a defining moment or was it just the, you know, slow revelation or, you know, how did that happen?

Debra Woog [00:13:00] Exactly. Kind of a sudden revelation. It is. Going back to your question about types of crises before. I’ve also, been through my own existential crises. And, you know, what am I doing here? What is my purpose? And I am living where people need me. And I’m I filled from my work. Right. I’ve also, been downsized. You know, I’ve been laid off. I have overseen human resources for a company where I had to lay everybody else off. Gosh, I’ve been through disputes. I’ve coached a lot of other people through various kinds of disputes. So, back to your question now. In around 2017, I started my business in 1999. Around 2017, I went through a kind of a phase that I think I’ve been through. That’s kind of the third time I’ve been through where I felt like, I love having my business. I’m successful. I like my work. But it’s not lighting me up like it used to. I know like what to do. And I am So, excited to show up every day to do it.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:14:06] Yeah.

Debra Woog [00:14:07] Yeah. Well, it wasn’t energizing me the way it used to.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:14:11] Right. Right. Oh, I totally get that.

Debra Woog [00:14:14] And so, I used the tools that I used as a career coach with my clients, some of which had come because I use them in the past in my own existential crises, to think about what would success look and feel like for me, and what were the times in my life that I felt most alive? Most useful.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:14:39] Right?

Debra Woog [00:14:40] Most fulfilled. Mm. And I started making lists. And then I was looking at this whole list of things I went through that Some of them were related to my business and Some of them weren’t new things that I had gone through as a friend or as a loved one of Somebody else.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:14:58] Right.

Debra Woog [00:14:59] And I was like, holy cow. I had have kind of, um, like, there’s been a lot of crisis in my life and in my friends lives. And I am one of these weirdos who kind of goes towards not away from.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:15:15] Your friends or danger.

Debra Woog [00:15:18] I mean, I go tours, like, bungee jumping or anything, but I don’t mean that I don’t love adventure. I’m not a thrill seeker. My dad was a volunteer EMT when I was like that used to bring home the ambulance. Sometimes it was very little like two and three. I remember being. But what my dad to this day listens to a police scanner to relax. I don’t do that. But if Somebody I deeply care about is having an emergency and they come to me, I stop what I’m doing.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:15:55] Right.

Debra Woog [00:15:56] And my dad would, like, follow a fire truck from a safe distance just to watch and see what’s on fire and how they never live. I want to be there for other people. And. I just realized how many times it had come up in situations that I was not creating. I mean, I contributed to my divorce operations in the lives of my clients and friends and family that. It wasn’t making happen. But then when they came and said, I want you by my side during this week.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:16:31] So, yeah.

Debra Woog [00:16:32] Asked me, have asked me to be the executor of their wills. Yeah, I know. And I was going to like. So, you want me in your crisis when you’ve left because.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:16:45] They want you to pick up the pieces.

Debra Woog [00:16:48] I started asking people like, why did you come to me during that? Why, right? Why do you want me to be here in those situations? And I am listening to the themes and that aha moment. Help me. Okay, I get it. What I want to do. And then I had to think about, well, what’s the name for this? Because that’s this thing. And I wanted to be clearer that I wasn’t. Your garden variety career coach or life coach has never resonated with me for my for my work.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:17:23] But yeah.

Debra Woog [00:17:24] For the business coach more than being a leadership coach.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:17:29] Yeah, I love that people are seeing you as a a standard or a pillar, you know, a strong foundation. And they know that even though they may be flying in the wind, they can, you know, link arms with Debra and Debra will hold them, hold on to them, you know, and guide them through the next step that they need to go through. I, I feel like each time well, I would think that each time you would help Somebody that you probably learn Something new. Oh yeah. And, you know, you’re just still continuing to learn and to help others, you know, with the next quiet. The other thing I wanted to mention, and I think it just left my brain because that’s the way it is.

Debra Woog [00:18:22] But I have a thought to mention, if you want, while you’re thinking about what.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:18:27] Yeah, go ahead.

Debra Woog [00:18:30] As I was putting together my kind of own manifesto, but my own ideas about how I wanted to serve and who I wanted to serve. Right. In a crisis, there’s kind of two different roles. Mm hmm. I don’t think that people talk about this in this way. So, again, I made up the language of, you know, better language for this. Please tell me this is what I’m using. In the meantime, you’ve got it in, you’re in a crisis. You are the person zero who’s got kind of the ground zero, the person right in the center of it. This thing is happening to you. You’re getting divorced. You’re lying in the hospital bed. You just got laid off.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:19:08] Yeah.

Debra Woog [00:19:09] Diagnosis, Something like that.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:19:10] Yeah.

Debra Woog [00:19:11] Or another way you could be in a crisis is that you are the point person for a person’s era. So, you’re the spouse of that person. You’re the adult child of that person. You’re the parents of that person. You’re the best friend.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:19:24] Great analogy. Yeah. Yeah.

Debra Woog [00:19:27] Point person often has as much stress and challenge from the experience as the person. Zero. Yeah. And I’ve talked to a lot of people about this. I have been the point person, you know, most of the time in the crises that I’ve experienced. And I feel like it’s a role people don’t get. How much support the point people need to get through?

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:19:53] Yes.

Debra Woog [00:19:54] And then there are Some situations that are. The hardest where Someone is both the person zero and they must be their own point person. I heard a close, close friend from business school who was diagnosed a year, year, and a half ago with breast cancer. Single she lives by herself, and she was the one going through it. And yet she had to be the one to figure out. What are all the treatment options and how do I file for my disability insurance? And where do I go to get the prosthetic breasts? Yeah, she’s had to do So, much. And when I told her, you know, when this started that I was, you know, dedicated and a friend to doing whatever she needed me to do. And I went with her on Face Time during the pandemic. She lives in another city.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:20:54] Mm hmm.

Debra Woog [00:20:55] But I just saw how especially draining it can be. When? Now. And she’s still a year and a half later. Thank goodness she’s free of cancer now, but she’s still doing dealing with all the side effects from the treatments.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:21:09] Oh, gosh.

Debra Woog [00:21:10] Yeah. Still fighting with the disability insurance company to get the payouts from the policy that her employer had paid for. And there’s So, much to deal with.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:21:20] Right.

Debra Woog [00:21:20] So, I just wanted to highlight that, too. I’m here.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:21:23] I’m glad you brought that up. Yeah, we had talked about that, too. And that is such an amazing point because Someone who, like you said, has, you know, they’re sick, they have a disease, and they also, have to do that, be their own point person. They don’t even have time to focus on getting better. You know, they don’t have time to rest or.

Debra Woog [00:21:53] You know.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:21:54] Because they’re So, busy, you know, they must call or email or research. And yeah, I can totally see how that would just be. And that’s stressful. And add a stress adds to whatever disease or that you’re dealing with, you know, and I just love that you remember to point that out. So, you know, anybody who is helping Someone else, you know, you know, you can use this service.

Debra Woog [00:22:24] You might need a crisis navigation partner. I have a client who came to me referred by a friend of mine who had been her coach. Yeah, she was a vice president of a tech company and who she had been with for four years up to this point. But they weren’t married, and they didn’t live together. They considered a partner. He had been diagnosed with glioblastoma six months before she came to me. And we were blessed and was a very aggressive, fast-moving cancer. Wow. She was trying to be everything for him, you know, in sickness and in health, although they hadn’t made those vows. And at the time, she was trying to be the vice president of the function in her company that she runs.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:23:11] And, my goodness.

Debra Woog [00:23:13] And the change that that organization was going through as she just had So, much on her plate. And she was trying to figure out for him what the best nutrition was. And how could you get into this specialist in Boston versus a, well, well-known person for glioblastoma who is also, in a Boston hospital?

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:23:32] Right.

Debra Woog [00:23:33] She had So, much on her plate and they would delegate tasks to me. They would delegate research to me. And wow was helpful for them both, even though I actually have never met him. It was always working directly with her. Right. And I had to be a mirror Sometimes a. Maybe mirror is not the right or the right image, but I need it to reflect back to her. Sometimes you need a break. Yeah. Now to take a break.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:24:11] Yeah.

Debra Woog [00:24:11] Want to sleep in your own bed tonight? And not here. Because you need a good night’s sleep. And you don’t want his giant dog crawling in bed with you. That’s reasonable. And even though you’re scared that he will be here in six months, you need to yourself now. Right. Help! Help him through this next six months. And for yourself.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:24:32] Right, right, right. And she may not have had anybody else being very clear and upfront with her and say, hey, you got to take care of yourself first. You know.

Debra Woog [00:24:43] Everybody else in his family was looking to her to be the point person because they didn’t want to be the point person.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:24:49] Yeah.

Debra Woog [00:24:51] But, you know.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:24:52] So, I mean, have you been helping a client and you’ve just because I would be Someone that would be So, emotionally involved in the situation, you know, their feelings or my feelings or cry. Cry. So, how do you handle that? You know, when you obviously, you know, your friends and you’ve helping them and you’re trying not to, you know. Right down in front of them because you want to be strong for them, you know, how do you handle those moments? You know, because I know this must be a very touching and, you know, situation for you.

Debra Woog [00:25:32] And I am I’m an empath. I really feel other people’s feelings along with them. So, I have had to learn in that, you know, I pivoted my business to hone in more on this and to that in my team. And I really have had to learn since then how to up my own game in terms of self-care and what were my expectations of myself in other areas So, that I could really be there for other people without. Exhausting myself. Yeah, because I get tired. You know, I went through a situation this week with Someone. They’re a 19-year-old who had a psychotic break that was brought on by Some super potent weed that she had smoked.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:26:24] Oh, Lord.

Debra Woog [00:26:24] And, you know, I was with her for about three days. And we are in the hospital getting her treatment and everything she needed. I mean, I was So, tired afterwards. I really mean that early and take care of myself. So, I learned too also, be extra gentle with myself. And I consider that a lot of public service, but a private service to my clients or my loved ones, because they’re more likely to believe that it’s okay for them to go to bed early if they see that I’m doing that. And that’s how I can keep showing up. Right?

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:27:04] Right. That’s great. I mean, you have to be intentional and aware and conscientious of you of yourself in the moment. So, that. Okay, I’m almost to my breaking point here, you know. I need to step away and go take care of myself. So, I really like that. You recognize that? Because I mean, what you tell other people, if you don’t practice it, then it’s right. No, it’s not going to. Yeah. So, how can people reach out to you, Debra? I know you have a beautiful website.

Debra Woog [00:27:51] Yeah, So, this is a little confusing. So, the name of my business is Connect and then the number two corporation. But on social media and my website, it’s all at connect tw00, that’s my hand on Instagram. That’s my Facebook page. That’s mine dot com. So, if you want to email me, https://connecttwo.com/?doing_wp_cron=1660444471.6364409923553466796875. Those are some good ways to, to get in touch.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:28:20] And you have a free brochure that people can download.

Debra Woog [00:28:26] I do, yeah. On my website. And I also, have a kind of cool tool that is helps people understand when they’re being ah, yeah, that’s my brochure, helps people understand it’s a quiz that helps people understand when they are being competent in a crisis and when they are going too far and working too hard and overcompensating and y. And anyway, with that and it’s under services, there’s a dropdown menu for services on my home field and it takes 10 minutes, but you get back up customized report, and I created this whole thing and I think it’s really neat. I recommend it as a good way to get to know because.

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:29:08] Definitely because I like to go there and be like, I don’t know if I need anybody, but they take the quiz are like, Oh Lord, I’m in crisis mode. I reach out to Debra.

Debra Woog [00:29:19] They help on the questions, art, on the quizzes. The questions are, are you in a crisis? But then, you know, how do you handle challenging situations and while you fail afterwards? And what are the causes of this?

Nicky Asher-Bowling [00:29:32] Gotcha. Yeah. Well, Debra, I appreciate you So, much for taking the time out to talk to my audience. Motherhood, unfiltered is going to be okay. I talk to mothers who are dealing with anxiety and depression daily, and a lot of those situations arise from being in a crisis, you know, whether it’s being, you know, a divorce, say, or suffering from, you know, a loss of a loved one or just being a single mom, just trying to navigate their life. I have always said I wish now that I had had Someone that I could maybe I always thought of like a loving nanny, you know, that could help me when the boys were younger. But, you know, that’s in the past now. So, now I’m just hoping that people can use these tools to reach out and say, yes, I need your help. So, So, thank you So, much for joining me today. Bye.

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The Grief Process: What to Expect When You’re Going Through Loss

In this blog, Mandy Capehart is going to show you how to create a Restorative Grief Project in your own community. This project is designed to help grievers and grief supporters find healing and hope after a loss. Mandy Capehart is a certified grief and life coach, and she has experienced loss herself. After her mother died in 2016, she realized there was a lack of resources available to help people through their grief. So she decided to create a space where people could share their stories and find support. The Restorative Grief Project is a safe place for people to fall apart and not have any answers. It’s a space where people can share their experiences and learn from each other. If you’re looking for a place to heal after a loss, this blog is for you.

Mandy Capehart is an author, speaker, and certified grief and life coach who helps people find their own values and what’s important to them. She is the founder of the Restorative Grief Project, which is an online community of grievers and grief supporters looking for movement while they heal. Capehart is from the Pacific Northwest and has experienced loss herself, which has driven her to help others facing similar situations.

Mandy Capehart is an author, speaker, and certified grief and life coach. They started the Restorative Grief Project in 2020 in response to the pandemic and the lack of grief literacy in the world. The project is an online community of grievers and grief supporters that provides a safe space for people to fall apart and not have any answers. The goal is to help people find their own values and what’s important to them so they can realign with a centered sense of peace and stillness.

Here are the steps you need to follow to also get Grief literacy.:
1. Grief is normal and natural, and we all experience it differently.

2. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no timeline for grieving.

3. It is okay to feel uncomfortable emotions and to express them honestly and vulnerably.

1. Grief is normal and natural, and we all experience it differently.
Grief is a normal and natural response to loss, and we all experience it in different ways. There is no one right way to grieve, and there is no timeline for grief. It is important to allow yourself to experience all the emotions and thoughts that come with grief, and to find ways to express yourself that are helpful for you. There is no shame in grief, and it is okay to ask for help if you are struggling.

There are many different stages of grief, and it is normal to go through all of them, or to move back and forth between them. The most cited stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, it is important to remember that everyone experiences grief differently, and there is no one right way to grieve. It is also important to remember that grief is not a linear process. You may not go through all the stages, or you may not go through them in order. You may also find yourself moving back and forth between stages. That is all normal and okay. Grief is a complex and difficult emotion, and it takes time to work through it. If you are struggling with grief, it is important to reach out for help. Talk to a friend, family member, therapist, or any other support system you have. There is no shame in asking for help, and there are many people who understand what you are going through.

2. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no timeline for grieving.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no timeline for grieving. Grief is an active, engaging process that when you are grieving, you are experiencing the loss kind of firsthand. And the more time we spend being intentional about that, I think the more frequently we will experience those moments of grieving like you were talking about, but it will feel less disruptive. So in a sense of like, if you picture yourself on this path, right, that spirals in on itself. So you start in the center and you’re slowly walking out. You’re going to encounter places that you’ve come by before, but you’re going at it from a different perspective. You’re further out from the center of the event. You can still see and you experience things, but you’re learning more. So you’re kind of expanding and including part of your story that came before you and gaining some insight and applying new versions like the new understanding of who you are, what serves you well and what brings you back into alignment shows up.

So grief is this process that helps us move through and understand our losses. It’s something that is unique to each individual, and there is no one right way to do it. Grieving is an ongoing process, and there is no timeline for it. You might find yourself revisiting certain aspects of your loss as you continue to grow and change. Grief is a natural and necessary part of healing, and it can be a powerful force in our lives.

3. It is okay to feel uncomfortable emotions and to express them honestly and vulnerably.
The third step in the grief process is to begin to accept the loss. This can be a difficult and painful step, but it is a necessary one. In order to move on from grief, we must first accept that the person or thing we lost is gone. This can be a difficult thing to do, but it is important to remember that the pain of grief will eventually fade and we will be able to remember the good times we had with the person or thing we lost.

It is okay to feel uncomfortable emotions and to express them honestly and vulnerably. However, it is important to remember that the pain of grief will eventually fade. In order to move on from grief, we must first accept that the person or thing we lost is gone. This can be a difficult thing to do, but it is important to remember that the good times we had with the person or thing we lost will eventually outweigh the pain of the loss.

If you are grieving, know that you are not alone. Millions of people around the world are grieving at any given time. Grief is a natural response to loss, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Take the time you need to heal, and reach out for help if you need it.

I’d love to hear about you and your experience with getting Grief literacy.. Leave me a comment on how it went for you or drop any questions you want me to answer!

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Daily Devotional

Hey there my friend! Have you read a good devotional lately? I am reading this by my friend Tammy and it has been so great! It will be available to purchase soon (September 27), you are going to want to check this out. Get on her emailing list at http://www.pursuitoverperfection.com

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Mary Welp-Author of RISE Hypnotic Meditation

Nicky Asher-Bowling

Hello everybody! This is Nicky from Motherhood Unfiltered: It’s going to be okay! Today I have Mary Welp on the podcast, and she is the author of rise hypnotic meditation, and she is a cranial sacral and hypnotherapist. First tell me about being a Hypnotherapist and how this cranial sacral works?

Mary Welp

Yeah, well, cranial sacral is what I started doing first, and it’s a body work. And it was started by Dr. John Upledger. And when he was doing surgery, he saw the cerebral spinal fluid move in the body and started to realize the connection of that fluid. And then it had an ebb and a flow to it kind of like the tides. And it was he’d see that ripple effect. And when there was an issue in the body or blockage that flow stopped in that area of the body. And so,, he started investigating how hands on work can help get the flow going better and help with the connection and help to kind of heal the body.

Nicky Asher-Bowling

So, how does? How would one do something like this to do? Because I know we talked and is the hypnotherapist is this something that I can do to help or do for myself?

Mary Welp

Yeah. So, I noticed with my clients, they were asking me for homework between their sessions, start working on something and they’d say, well, how can I keep this going? How can I do my self-care and take care of myself? So, I started teaching them self-hypnosis. And they came back and told me of all the different ways they were using it, it’s like okay, my sleep is better. But now I have issues with my husband and I’m going to start you know, working on my patients and being able to, you know, communicate and in civil manner about the wet towels on the floor, and you know those kinds of things. So, I started teaching in that and they told me all these different ways they were using it, I realized that it was a great self-help tool. And I started teaching it to everybody that I could. And when the pandemic happened, and my one-on-one practice stopped, I started thinking about how I could teach it out in mass, because we need the self-help tools. We’re all struggling. You know, this is a chaotic, hard time night. Course. I think we could say that about any time of my life, I think I could have said that, for one reason or another. Exactly. So, we need tools, we need to not feel stuck. We need to we can’t always get to our therapists, they are so, overwhelmed and overloaded right now. And I think once we start looking at our thoughts, and wondering and questioning why we think that way, why we react in a certain way, right? why certain things bother us more than other things, right? As we want to shift those things rise. Hypnotic meditation is a tool that you can learn and use to shift ways of thinking,

Nicky Asher-Bowling

Oh, so, did any of your patients come back and said that they hypnotized their husband to do all kinds of different things?

So, hypnosis, I know it’s about working on themselves, and then not being reactive to where they can let it go, where it’s not so, critical, or at least they don’t have to blow up about it, they can communicate in a more helpful manner. And, you know, sometimes we watch our parents fight, or we watched whoever raised us fight, and then we go to that mode, right. But as we grow, and we change, and we have partners that don’t act that way, we sometimes need a way to, to, you know, restructure our thinking and restructure our program. There’s a funny story about imprints and why we do think that a woman is making a ham one night, and she cuts off the two ends of the ham, wraps it up and puts it in the oven. And her husband says Why did you get the day off? And so, well, that’s how my mother always says, she goes to her mother and said, Mom, why do you get the ham in the ham? Before we bake it? And she says, well, I don’t know. That’s how my mother always. So, this woman goes back to her granny and the creating, why do we cut the ends off the ham before we take it? And she says, Well, that’s because that’s the size of my oven. Has nothing to do with the ham cooking or properly. It’s just you know, but we kept on with that same way of doing because that’s how she learned that how her mother learned.

Nicky Asher-Bowling

Yes, I’ve heard that story. And it is a great analogy, because it totally portrays how generations will just do the same thing over and over and don’t even know why.

Mary Welp

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, and we grow, and we learn. And I think that’s part of the evolving, and I think we all need to evolve. And I think when we do that our children do, you know, don’t do it just for ourselves, we do it for our family and our community, right, because it does have a ripple effect, you know, and we’re walking around the world a little bit happier, a little bit more adjusted a little bit more, you know, full of self-care and self-empathy. And when we don’t feel stuck, I know, I’ve had periods of depression in my life, and I’ve had periods where I felt stuck. I didn’t know how to get out of the way I was thinking, right? And, and sometimes, you know, we just need tools to look at it and say, okay, this isn’t, you know, my brain wants safety. So, it’s examining and judging, and being critical on everything because safety, right? Whereas if we tell ourselves, no, we’re safe. It’s okay. I can grow, I can learn, I can do better. I can be happy or like

Nicky Asher-Bowling

You’re saying that, like, it’s just the easiest thing, which it is, but no, no, I don’t think that way. I’m like, why would I tell myself that I’m in? I’m in a safe place, you know? But I, to me, it’s just so, astounding. It’s like there’s the basics, concepts that we knew when we were growing up, I heard of it. You get through life, and it’s like you don’t get buried in the back of your mind?

Mary Welp

Absolutely. Because I know there were times where I said, I’ll never do it the way my mother did it. I’ll never say that. What she said, I would never do that. And then it comes right out of my mouth. You know, and you got to give yourself, you know, a bit of credit. But I think when we recognize it, and we say, I really don’t want to be that I really don’t want to say that. I don’t want to represent that to them. Right? Then it changes everything. Because you’ve set that intention, even whether you’ve done the work, whether you do rise hypnotic meditation or not. It’s just recognizing, okay, this is a, this is a pattern that I see now that needs to go.

Nicky Asher-Bowling

Right, right. I love that. I really love that because it just lets you know that you’re never too old to learn new tricks. And I hear that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. It just discourages me and I’m like, No, I don’t want to ever be in a position where I can’t do something to better myself grow. You know, I have growing and learning always. Yeah. So, I have. So, if I have a problem. So, I go to Mary, and she teaches me this technique. So, is this something like you just works on one thing at a time, like, okay, Mary, I want to work on. You know, you know, not yelling or something. And

Mary Welp

I would recommend it that way. And I encourage it as a meditation practice because people who meditate are used to doing it every day. So, sometimes you have a big problem to work on something times, there’s really something in your face that you need, you need your attention. And this is great for that. But there’s also, those days where you just, you know, want a little piece or a little happiness, it doesn’t have to always be a big deal. It can also, be I use it every day, at the end of the day, to kind of reset the things that went well, I gave myself a pat on the back saying good job, keep it up. And the things were put my foot in my mouth, or it didn’t go well, or I goofed. I hurt somebody’s feelings; I said the wrong thing. You know, I have empathy. So, yeah, and you know, we all do, right, and but we carry it over, we let it mound up, we let one issue go on top of another one. And I think even if we just had a way to spend three or four minutes at the end of the day, to kind of clear that hard drive to move into the next day, we wouldn’t let these things mound up.

Nicky Asher-Bowling

Oh, wow. I love that analogy. Because I always think of our brains like a computer. You know, all day long. And using you’re accessing information. Yes, you know.

Mary Welp

Yeah. And if we’re not getting good quality sleep, then we’re not getting that reboot or not getting that refresh that the body and the nervous system really needs because our minds will go to that limbic brain quick. It will go to that fright flight really, fast. But to slow down and really think about okay, what do I really want to say here? How do I really want to react? I’ve just been triggered what do I really want? Yeah, you have to slow down and really take your time. And I think by looking at our thoughts and starting to deal with them, it lets us live a happier life because we don’t feel subjected to our thoughts were thoughts. The first part of the book is explaining how it works and why it works. Okay, explain why I do this as a meditation practice encourages such and, about self-hypnosis. There’s a lot of stereotyping and stage hypnosis and give us a terrible rap. Yeah, but everyone who does stage hypnosis is performing and they know they are performing. When you are doing self-hypnosis as a therapy or to have more productive thoughts, then you’re not performing. It’s a different purpose. So, I explain all that and then I have explained the four steps of rise and how to relax imagine suggest in power, how to do them what they represent. And then in the back of the book, I help you set up your programs So, what works best for you? What do you want to address? And then there’s also, 25 or 30 Different suggested meditation. So, I have rise for sleep rise for patients, rise for surgery, rise for guilt. Again, there’s 25 or 30 different topics. And they’re meant to be springboards. Because I really want people to find what works best for them. And then, you know, get in that group, and really practice it daily so, that they can be happy.

Nicky Asher-Bowling

So, with this shooting that happened recently, I feel like our young people are not being taught the tools to handle emotions, diversity, cultural differences, & things like that. And I think that that your book could help kids to learn these tools.

Mary Welp

Absolutely. Yeah. And I might participate in mind fest, Louisville this weekend. I live in Louisville, Kentucky, and mind Fest was locals have been really hit hard by violence and Breanna Taylor. So, we’ve been going through a lot in the last few years. And it was wonderful to see the young people come out and they’re angry for a way to do things our culture doesn’t address doesn’t teach how to be happy and healthy. It doesn’t talk about our conscious and our subconscious brain and how its programmed and how we can reprogram. And, you know, we so, we feel stuck, we feel stuck. And so, I think it can help. And, yes, I’d like to get it out to the young people. I think if we could teach this in schools, if they had it at a young age, that would be really wonderful. And I know, I have been using it a lot in the last 36 hours. Because my son and his wife are both schoolteachers. So, this hits me really close. And it it’s Yeah, so, I’m just trying to keep myself you know, me losing, it doesn’t help. It doesn’t help my daughter in law, it doesn’t help, you know, the local school system, it doesn’t do anything other than having me event. So, for me to stay calm and for me to stay present for him and be supportive. And that’s, that’s what I’m here to do. So, trying to not be that reactive mother and get triggered and you know, you know, get in there and stand behind them and protect them all day. I probably end up doing which wouldn’t go well with him either. Using the RISE method, you’re even more aware, because a lot of what we do when you’re self-hypnotizing is, you’re using visualization. So, it’s kind of like a waking dream, or a fugue state, but you are creating the scenario that you’re seeing. So, you know, if you want to address getting rid of something, for example, I use like to use the example of anger. You can envision your anger as a red-hot ball of flame and go to a beautiful place with a beautiful lake or somewhere that you feel really safe. And put that anger there. Give that up to nature. And watch a turn, watch it turned blue, watch the steam come up from the water. And so, you’re visualizing a shift and a change so, that you can embody it because the mind works in stories. Wow. We’re storytellers real. And that’s how we learn is through our senses and through storytelling. So, you’re going to tell your subconscious, a new story that’s more productive, maybe then the real that it’s been running.

Yeah, it’s practice. But now I can do it really quickly. And I’ve done it in restaurants before where I got triggered, and I got off to the bathroom and do my rides and kind of get myself back together. Because the restaurant didn’t need to hear about what I was upset about. And, you know, it was a, it was a flippant comment made by someone who’s being rude and present. And, you know, if I get two people at Walmart to do this, so, everybody needs to see their events, more love in the world. Or at least meditation. Yeah. And it does start here. And it does. It really, I’ve seen it happen in my own life. And I’ve seen it in my clients’ lives. And they, you know, they talk about their kids being happier, and they’re more approachable, and they’re not as quick to temper and they’re not as quick to be reactive. Yeah. And, you know, it’s. So, it’s a good practice, just because it really helps us set intention. And when we set intention, that’s what moves energy. When we say, Okay, I’m done with this, I’m ready to go over here that sets things in motion. That’s the manifesting is just by saying this is what I want.

The book, it’s a powerpack, 90 pages, I there’s no really not a lot of fluff. I’m good. I’m too direct. And to the point people don’t have time to read, it’s kind of a workbook too. So, it helps you think about, you know, the way you would use it. So, R stands for relax. So, it’s like, where do you hold tension in your body? You know, where do you get sore? Where do you feel when you’re stressed? Where do you tighten up your jaw? Or neck? Is it your arms, you know, so, it has to be somewhat reflective as you read the book, so, that by the time you get to the end of it, you really know how to put your program together. And if you need any help reach out. Reach out. No, I’m very, I’m very approachable. The book is there https://www.risehypnoticmeditation.com/. And there’s also, a lot of free videos on there that talks about what the acronym means, how to use it, why rise works, what we’re actually doing here with the brain. And then I think there’s a rise for patience, rise for peace, rise for guilt, and a couple of others as well. And I’m adding to the library all the time. Yeah. So, that’ll give people kind of, again, a springboard.

Yes, and also, our brains work differently. So, the suggest part, the s part of rise, you can do in several different ways. So, depending on how you process, you might find one that works better for you than others. So, it’s a good time to try different ways. I’ve got some classes coming up. And again, I love to travel and teach so, if anybody has a group, or their studio or anything like that to learn more, please.

Nicky Asher-Bowling

Mary, have you written any other books?

Mary Welp

I’m a coauthor of my shoulder here which is self-healing volume five, oh, put together by a woman a publisher and she got different healers of different types of the did all different nutritionists colon hypnotherapist you know, all different types psychologist and we’ve all written a chapter of the book so, I’m chapter 12 of volume five and I talk about how I first started going down this road of this kind of work and then I talked about our the first stage of rise Yeah, Because I’ve only been doing it for a year it since the pandemic happens. So, this is all pretty new. But the workshops are going really well. I’m very encouraged because it works. I was at the yoga festival I was at this weekend. I had 22 people in my class and right down the hills all outdoors right down the hill. They had laughing yoga going on. So, they had a whole group of people doing laughing yoga and I’m like how I get these, how am I going to get people to drop down, and really relax into their bodies and as long as loud laughing yoga going on, but it worked. I loved her and her daughter I actually saw something on Facebook the other day with horses’ yoga with horses that would be a whole other level Yeah, I don’t know how to do that well

Nicky Asher-Bowling

Mary, how can someone reach you?

Mary Welp

So, it really is the best way to go through because it comes directly to me so, feel free to do that you can sign up to take the teacher training I’m going to do in September so, I am beginning to teach other teachers how to do this so, if you would like to learn a meditation practice to share with your friends or to share with your yoga community or your meditation group are you there feel free to reach out to my website.